Being a mou-anoubi (newly-married woman) comes with a lot of expectations, happy discoveries, surprising revelations and a hell lot of confusion. The pangs of having to leave your maternal home will bite you every time you are confused, lost or sad. But there were a few things which can help overcome those feelings a tad easier!
Being a little organized and prepared for the major changes in your life helps you settle in a little better and smoother. Here are some mou anoubi survival hacks! Scroll on and have a Happy Married Life!
The All-red ensemble for the Bridal Night
Among the Meiteis, a set of an all-red ensemble is mandatory for the wedding night. Right from your under-garments to your blouse, phanek, inaphi, et.al! Assigned someone to take care of it and hand it to you when it’s time for you to change your clothes. This way you won’t have to fumble in your first few hours at your new home.
Plan your Wardrobe Setting in Advance
A well-planned wardrobe arrangement will help you a great deal in your new home. Plan your wardrobe setting in advance and inform the people who are going for the pham-thaba about your plans so that you will be familiar with the placement of the essential items.
You will be wearing your wedding jewelry on your wedding night but you will need to change into your “mou-anoubi-jewelry” the next day. Make sure your mou-anoubi- jewelry is not very complicated. I was using a screw one for the first time and my husband had to lend me a hand every time and at one point, my ears started bleeding. If you plan to change every day with your outfit, get those hoops, hooks or button types which are easily changeable. Saves time and looks fancy.
Here’s some you can try from Bluestone. They are affordable and fancy!
The Mou-anoubi sets for those First Impressions
With so many new chores lined up for you, you won’t have time for playing dress up! Plan at least 8 pairs of phanek-inaphi sets and keep it handy. Who has the time to pick and choose clothes when everyone is vying for your attention (remember, there will be a lot of guest coming in even after the wedding day is over)!
The cream/ off-white muga set for the Daily Puja
Pack a separate clothing item for the “duk thaba”. Whether you are a believer or not, you will be expected to take care of the “Surja-puja” in the morning and the evening rituals. Having a separate set comes in handy as you will be expected to wear washed clothes every time. Change into those only before the ritual and change back later.
Have your Washing Machine and Refrigerator Fixed
This may be different for different people but give strict instructions to your fiancée or husband to get all the essential electronic items to be fixed before your arrival or on the next day itself. It makes life easier. You can get your washing done while you are busy serving breakfast in the kitchen or just relax watching TV after a long day of being a mou-anoubi.
Store some Food for Yourself
You might be familiar with what your in-laws eat and drink and their meal timings but adjusting to their schedule will take you a few days. Save yourself the trouble and store some food in your refrigerator or in your room. In my case, nuts and fruits from the kujaba were of great help.
Your Fiancée and you might want to talk this out while planning your wedding. A wedding in whatever shape, size and theme is a huge investment from both parties. Considering the fact that most payments are covered after the wedding is over, planning out a budget and sticking to it will save you all the drama after the event.
Although marriage is about sharing a life and doing things together, there is nothing wrong in stashing away a little for yourself and for any emergency. Specially as a newly married, you will come across situations when you would want to help someone out or indulge a little. That’s where the stash comes handy.
Essential Emergency Kit
In your nervousness in a new environment, a few accidents, mishaps or health issues are inevitable. Remember you are tired after all those days of wedding planning and the stress. Put together an emergency kit of allergy meds, ORS, band aids, etc.
Serving Guest with a Smile
You will be expected to serve a lot of guest: your friends, your husband’s, elders of the Leikai’s who would come for tea and see the mou-anoubis. The thumb-rule is to offer tea and some thing to eat. So be prepared with a smile and set of fancy tea-set.
The mou-anoubi experience is different for everyone. Mine was a smooth one until my ears started bleeding every time I try to put on those screw-earrings and my stomach fighting it out for all those stressful days before the wedding. Anyway, do share your experience with us, we would love to hear about it!